"only the male here, you keen on abit of fun sometime?"
Although I completely accept poly behaviour, in this case it seems like an easy way for you to get some tail while being in a relationship. No, thanks.
Stalkers
Unfortunately I have run into someone who has decided to stalk me. Numerous threatening emails and txt messages and I have no idea why or how they got a hold of my information. So one of us girls is leaving the blog for a while. Until things cool over at least. The rest of this blog falls solely on the young shoulders of the other girl. Wish her luck and I hope to be back soon!
xoxo
xoxo
#53 Pompousness
"ok ok... alright sweetie I'll let you fuck me!! Hope you're happy now. Just tell me where and when"
Yeah I can see you're trying to be cheeky and bold but no, there are something's that it doesn't work on, like sex.
Yeah I can see you're trying to be cheeky and bold but no, there are something's that it doesn't work on, like sex.
#52 More money for sex
"hey im a 24 yo male looking for some no strings fun are u keen?? can also give u $$ if u wanna go that way. message me back"
Me: I think I'll have to decline your offer.
"u sure ur very hot hehe? ill make it worth ur while"
Are you questioning whether I'm sure I'm not, or whether you should be laughing about it?
Me: I think I'll have to decline your offer.
"u sure ur very hot hehe? ill make it worth ur while"
Are you questioning whether I'm sure I'm not, or whether you should be laughing about it?
#51 Photographer
"hi please dont be offended but im looking at a new line of work and need the pratice.
so i am looking for girls to take photos off to get better skills. i pay for your time. if you think this might be a bit of you . drop me a line. thanks"
Yeah sounds like a great plan! This is how all the models get their break! By following strange men into rooms and be photographed! Watch out everyone! I might be on a billboard somewhere soon!
so i am looking for girls to take photos off to get better skills. i pay for your time. if you think this might be a bit of you . drop me a line. thanks"
Yeah sounds like a great plan! This is how all the models get their break! By following strange men into rooms and be photographed! Watch out everyone! I might be on a billboard somewhere soon!
50 posts!
We've reached 50 blog posts about messages. Yay!
We can assure you that we get a lot more messages but ones that say "want 2fuk" aren't as good to poke fun at.
Thanks heaps to everyone that reads us, we hope we make your day a little less lame when you see how many other freaks there are out there.
Keep reading and tell your friends!!
L & A
We can assure you that we get a lot more messages but ones that say "want 2fuk" aren't as good to poke fun at.
Thanks heaps to everyone that reads us, we hope we make your day a little less lame when you see how many other freaks there are out there.
Keep reading and tell your friends!!
L & A
Worst pick up line ever?
"I want to impregnate you"
Will you birth it for me too? Breast feed it and raise it? No? Well then, no!
Will you birth it for me too? Breast feed it and raise it? No? Well then, no!
Distance makes the cock grow harder
"I want to have sex with you but you are in the wrong city lol "
I don't want to have sex with you, thank fuck you are in the right city.
I don't want to have sex with you, thank fuck you are in the right city.
#49 Questioning your own compliment
"wow your are beautaful?
you keen for a chat?"
I'm still laughing.
you keen for a chat?"
I'm still laughing.
#48 Twat honey
"May I lick your twat honey?"
Is he asking to lick my twat, and calling me honey? Or he is asking to lick the honey coming out of my twat?
Either way, the answer is no. Mainly because you called my beautiful vagina a twat.
I won't message you if...
you live in the ghetto.
Shallow, I know, but there's something wrong with you if you choose to live near violence and rape.
Revelations about dating...
Tonight I sat on the sidewalk and drank and ate pizza with a whole bunch of girls. As it does, our conversation turned to dating and we began sharing our online dating disaster stories. It made me feel great that I wasn't the only one getting these stupid messages from stupid guys.
...then it made me feel horrible. If we all experience it regularly, then what hope is there?
...then it made me feel horrible. If we all experience it regularly, then what hope is there?
#45 Plz let me plz you
"dont you want some hot kinky fun today be fun, me plz you , you dont have to do anything to me, i want to plz you"
I have no words.
I have no words.
#44 Matured men
"would you be interested in a matured man?"
I like my men to have maturity, but not to be twice my age.
I like my men to have maturity, but not to be twice my age.
#43 Enough talking for both of us.
"Hay there would you like to have a chat. Sorry i havent got much riten up on my page a as i would rather talk to some one for abit then let the hole nz-nzd know me a, i enjoy Speedway classic cars muscle cars v8s roadtriping and alot more music ranges from rock 2 hip hop and rnb i have 3tats and 7periceing i wouldnt mind a few more tatts a, i am looking for that someone in my life to full the gap thayr realy hard to come across these days anything you wanta know jus ask or anything you wanta tell me go head a sorry if it takes me awaile to reply back a as i dont have a computer at home iv eather gota use my sisters or mates comp but i will reply a by all means, Hear from you soon, Also i dont have apix of me up on my profile a as thay dont have the right flash player on there pc to up load a pix a"
I'm not sure what to reply with, since you haven't given me any questions to answer.
I'm not sure what to reply with, since you haven't given me any questions to answer.
#42 $$ for marriage
"Hi, do you require residency / PR. I can help with marriage for $$$. Get in touch."
How fucking offensive, not to mention illegal. I ended up reporting this guy, what a fucktard.
I won't message you if...
I can't understand your profile. Seriously.
"i also like any movies excpt action on its own bt dnt mind action commedts,etc."
WHAT DOES THIS EVEN SAY?
"i also like any movies excpt action on its own bt dnt mind action commedts,etc."
WHAT DOES THIS EVEN SAY?
#41 Where am I from?
"how long u been in this country for"
I was born here. Oh cos I'm not white does that mean I'm foreign? Fuck off you 48 year old ignorant shit.
#40 Musical or insane
"Hi , please do not put yourself down. Please do not waste your time. Pera/ ! ps - this is a good time to pat yuourself on the back jack. and don't you come bacvk no more , know more , no more - --------- Life is about stamping the good parts into your brain - before the drain takes the strain - before it become mooooondane . Is this puppy insane - please refrain - time to retrain and nake a gain - are you in the right lane to stay in the game ?"
How many cliches and rhymes can a guy put in a message??
Revelations about dating...
Why do I keep looking at profiles when I know that I am not going to like any of them? I spend half the time laughing at ugly people and the other half judging the hot people.
Never going to find the man of my dreams on the internets am I?
#39 Inappropriate emoticon
"i would love some of you, your hott and great (.)(.)"
Did you just put boobs in your message to me? When did boobs become the new smiley?
#38 ????
"hey chick
my burn out are sick mate i do mean pussy dount burn out
you should try it
it fully sick i swear to god you love it"
my burn out are sick mate i do mean pussy dount burn out
you should try it
it fully sick i swear to god you love it"
I don't even... what the fuck? Can someone explain this to me?
#37 How to get me in bed
"Wow those are some amazing tits, what would it take to get you in bed cutie?"
A time machine so you can go back and UNSAID that.
Or, go back so far that we can tell your mum that you should be the load that she should swallow.
#36 Selling my clothes
"ever been adventurous enough to sell your sexy knickers?"
Are you offering to buy them, or are you just curious?
Are you offering to buy them, or are you just curious?
#35 Helping strangers
"i like what i do as i help people for their emotional problems! i like to do some fun without any serious business"
Dr. Phil?!?!? When did you sign up to internet dating sites??
#34 Really sleazy cyber-sexing me.
"Heya I'm Nick Im a young confident young guy looking to have some fun.
I had a read through your profile and wrote this for you. Hope it turns you on hehe.
Dont be offended it was just a bit of fun.
I will start bykissing your neck while pulling you into the bed, my hand grazing your thigh as i push you down. i take off my top and slide down your body kissing it as i go down. I kiss your thigh rubbing my lips up towards your pussy. I pull aside your panties and lick your pussy, my tongue dancing around your clit as my finger slides inside you. after teasing you for a while I grab you and flip you. sicking my big hard cock inside your pussy as we fuck doggy style.
Hope you enjoyed that"
I had a read through your profile and wrote this for you. Hope it turns you on hehe.
Dont be offended it was just a bit of fun.
I will start bykissing your neck while pulling you into the bed, my hand grazing your thigh as i push you down. i take off my top and slide down your body kissing it as i go down. I kiss your thigh rubbing my lips up towards your pussy. I pull aside your panties and lick your pussy, my tongue dancing around your clit as my finger slides inside you. after teasing you for a while I grab you and flip you. sicking my big hard cock inside your pussy as we fuck doggy style.
Hope you enjoyed that"
EW GROSS. MORE LIKE CYBER RAPING ME.
That is so yuck, I don't want to hear about a stranger putting his disgusting mouth on my clunge.
UGHHH.
#33 LET'S MEET RIGHT NOW K?
"hi how are you today? i'm not goin to beat around the brush with lets talk to get to know each other before we meet and stuff so i'm straight talking guy who doesn't believe in waste your or mine time so you just want to meet for a chat and go from there?"
All my years of watching crime shows makes this scream serial killer at me. You may be just wanting to get things off the ground quickly... but, "LET'S MEET RIGHT NOW WITHOUT KNOWING ANYTHING ABOUT EACH OTHER!" sounds like the beginning of a horror movie.
All my years of watching crime shows makes this scream serial killer at me. You may be just wanting to get things off the ground quickly... but, "LET'S MEET RIGHT NOW WITHOUT KNOWING ANYTHING ABOUT EACH OTHER!" sounds like the beginning of a horror movie.
#32 The Competition
"so i better get in before you get taken then? babe i want you. what are you doing friday?"
Seriously. So now that you think some guy's going to snap me up, you *have* to fuck me? That's really unappealing.
And don't try the, "Oh, no, I just wanted to take you out for a drink," line. I know that it's bullshit.
Seriously. So now that you think some guy's going to snap me up, you *have* to fuck me? That's really unappealing.
And don't try the, "Oh, no, I just wanted to take you out for a drink," line. I know that it's bullshit.
I won't message you if...
You think that dropping out of high school means you're now a "Natural Genius".
#31 Urine play message
"Watersports/golden shower/YOU watching me drink/watch YOU...PISS? mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?"
Urine is for the toilet or if you get stung by a jellyfish. Actually, skip all that and I'll just put the jellyfish on your penis, you sicko.
Ughhh and DRINKING URINE??? What the fuck is wrong with WATER??? Fucking hell.
#30 Webcam offer
"hi there.. im about to blow my load do you wanna come see it on cam?"
I haven't replied yet, I wonder if he's still waiting? LOL BLUE BALLS.
#29 Meeting you is SUCH a privilege
"so when do you want to meet me?"
Wow! How cocky are you?
Try, "I'd like to meet you. Would you like to meet me too?"
Wow! How cocky are you?
Try, "I'd like to meet you. Would you like to meet me too?"
I won't message you if...
You're pro choice because "women make mistakes."
Yeah. Last time I checked, it's not just up to the woman to practise safe sex.
Yeah. Last time I checked, it's not just up to the woman to practise safe sex.
#28 Re-emailing to get a reply
"Why do you not return an email. You look like a nice person. Or are you not. ?"
The reason why I didn't reply was because 1) you are too old, like TOO old. 2) your first message to me was about how you wanted to suck on my tits. 3) your third message was about how you want to whisk me away and pleasure me on an island. 4) you UGLY.
So unless you want to hear all of the above, I wont be emailing you back.
#27 Onomatopoeia to describe your reaction to my hotness
"bham wham! ouch..smokin! whatsup??"
Dude, did you just crash your car and have it explode into flames or are you just happy to see me?
#26 Making a sleazy statement about my body part
"do you like guys cumin over your collarbones?"
How specific of you! Collarbones? Not my chest? Like a pearl necklace? Collarbones.
Cumin on my collarbones? Mmmm!! Seasonings!!
I won't message you if...
you're wearing a flat peak and doing a sign with your hands in your profile pic.
#25 Making out like you know what I want
"some are after a bit of fun even when they say they arent lol so what are you after? i bet u like it dirty."
I am here because I am looking for cool people to chat to. That's as fun as I will get. If my profile says that I am not interested in casual sexual relationships, it means I AM NOT INTERESTED IN CASUAL SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS.
I don't need the internet to find a guy who will root me once and leave. That's what the local RSA is for.
#24 X-rated Messages
"hi your cute love to make u wet and fuck ** young pussy"
Okay. When you saw my profile, what made you think, "Oh, I know! I'll send her a message telling her how much I want to fuck her young pussy."
Better yet, what made you think I would reply?
Okay. When you saw my profile, what made you think, "Oh, I know! I'll send her a message telling her how much I want to fuck her young pussy."
Better yet, what made you think I would reply?
#23 Being told you are too hot
"hay chik
kan i juz say u ar waaay 2 ht to b on here aye"
kan i juz say u ar waaay 2 ht to b on here aye"
Oh aye bro, yeah it's cuz I dunt talk so gud aye. Datz y ppl dun lyk me.
#22 The nude photos
"hav u seen me pic i gt clothed an nude"
Good job on getting two polite messages out of me before sending this.
However, no. I'm not one of the lucky girls you've sent your nudes to.
Good job on getting two polite messages out of me before sending this.
However, no. I'm not one of the lucky girls you've sent your nudes to.